A strong lady from South Korea in love with traditional cooking with lots of passionate stories
Ms. Myoung Sook is a 62-year-old woman born in Haenam in the South Korean southern Jeolla province. “After high school I moved to Seoul, I was 19 years old. My aunt lived here, I started working in her wholesale shop for clothes and accessories.”
Her face suddenly changes expression, with a strangled voice she continues “During that time I met my first love. It is still in my thoughts and in my heart although all these years have passed. I came from a small country town and he was from a rich family, which strongly opposed our relationship, making it impossible. His mother separated us permanently: she locked me in a hotel and he in the house for a week, to make me disappear from her son’s life, also intercepted all my phone calls. I had to give up. ” She shows me an old photo of him, with tears in her eyes. “It seems like yesterday …” She adds. “I remember it was raining and I was walking around crying. I was devastated by the fact that I hadn’t even been able to say goodbye one last time. He probably lives in the USA now. When I feel tired and sad, I still pass by his house today.”
“My aunt moved to Long Beach in California, I asked to take me with her but my mother didn’t agree. So I stayed in Seoul and had to start all over again. I got a job at a women’s clothing store run by the man who became my husband. We had a baby girl and after this event we decided to get married, although my father did not fully agree. But we didn’t have many other choices. It was 1988, we got married in the year of the Seoul Olympics. At the same time my second child was born.”
“For 16 years I worked with my husband in the family shop, at the same time I was raising my children. Life was not easy, I discovered, unfortunately, that we had completely different characters and ideas in life. He wanted to make money fast and got into debt to loan sharks, creating a lot of problems in the family. He also lived in constant paranoia that I was cheating on him and sometimes he got violent, throwing dishes and smashing things around the house. I wanted to get divorced but having two children I didn’t want to complicate things even more. I was stressed and depressed. I felt alone, I was in a lot of pain, a very hard period, I wanted to end it for good.” Getting a divorce in a close-minded country like South Korea is not easy, especially after giving birth to children. “The situation was really unbearable…till one day my eldest daughter, who was 22 at that time, took me by force out of the house. She could no longer tolerate what was happening.”
Once again, Ms. Myoung Sook’s life had to start over in one way or another… “I rolled up my sleeves, especially now that I was living with my daughter and had to take care of her and her studies without the support of my husband. They hired me in a hotel restaurant. I started as a dishwasher and after a short time they moved me to the kitchen to make sweets. I worked hard and the hotel manager noticed it, appreciating my work.”
“My mother loved to cook and I too discovered that I had the same passion and skill. The hotel manager also noticed this and proposed that I could have studied at their expense, but in exchange I would have to stay for three years to work with them. I did not accept, but I paid for my studies and obtained the license as a professional cook. So after some time I found myself working as a manager in the hotel restaurant. I worked for them for 13 years, it was a good time in my life, I met a lot of good people.”
During these years Ms. Myoung Sook devoted herself, body and soul, to her culinary passion connected to traditional Korean cuisine. “I like to cook, especially for others. Makes me happy. Sharing the food I prepare with other people is very important and rewarding. I always try to create my own recipes, following the style of traditional Korean cuisine. I never wanted to mix with food from other countries. I wanted to create typical recipes but in my style, using natural products and a lot of vegetables and focusing on simple foods, with not too many ingredients, but super tasty.
I learned a lot from my mother, especially about traditional Korean sauces. I used to go to various restaurants to sample and get inspired by their delicious courses.
Nowadays too many recipes are mixed with other traditions from other countries to create the fusion style that young people like so much, I have never been interested in this kind of flavors”
After 13 years in the hotel restaurant, Ms. Myoung Sook took a year off. “I was very tired and physically exhausted from the hard work of all this time.”
A new project awaited her: “I decided to start an adventure as an entrepreneur. I chose the Gangnam area as a place to open my own restaurant with traditional Korean cuisine. We served food for a lot of people, it was a pretty big project where I invested all the money I had. I was very busy, business was going well but managing a restaurant like this in a super busy area like Gangnam created a lot of stress for me. I was chasing the money. All of this created a lot of pressure in my life, I paid for that with my health. I soon became very ill and was hospitalized for a couple of months.”
“I also had surgery, I remember my son’s face before entering the operating room. I prayed I told myself that if I survived I would have adjusted my lifestyle.” Which fortunately happened. “After this period many things changed. I recovered and started not chasing money anymore as I had done in recent years, I realized that I had to start living my life.”
Meanwhile, the restaurant was in the hands of an incompetent and dishonest manager, who created financial problems for Ms. Myoung Sook “I had to close after 8 years in business, it was 2015. I paid off my debts by selling my business.”
Bad things can lead to good things, sometimes “After this event and after my health improved, I decided to move to another place and opened a new small restaurant in the Seochon area, in the north of Seoul. This time much more modest. Only a few seats, in a neighborhood that I consider special, where people are much more human and friendly than those in the Gangnam area, where everyone looks like cold robots.”
Although the earnings were less than before, life began lighter and more peaceful, moreover here she met many people who learned to esteem and love her. “My daughter advised me not to think too much about money, but to work for myself and for my passion: cooking for others. I started by selling simple salad plates and natural fruit juices. I then created several traditional menus, mixing the flavors of the Jeolla province where I was born, which are quite strong, with those appreciated by all, finding an excellent compromise of tastes.
Even though people enjoyed the food I cooked very much, I wanted to do more to offer even better meals. I put my heart into it, every time I prepared something I thought about my customers, their faces, I knew all their personal preferences.
I spent 4 very special years, where I met many beautiful people who became good friends and I cooked for them. It was wonderful and fulfilling, I was happy at last.” I ate several times at this little restaurant of hers and I can guarantee that everything was very great and full of love.
“I no longer chase money as I used to, I prefer to spend more time with good people and help those in need. I’ve always been in trouble in my life, I know what it’s like to suffer this kind of pain, so I’d like to do something for others.
Cooking is my talent, I would like to serve and share my food with orphans and the lonely elderly without family. I would also like to teach the younger generation how to cook Korean traditional food, for free. Projects that require money and sponsors.
I also continue to study new recipes and read gardening books, I want to grow my garden with my vegetables to use for my food”
A really intense life the one of Ms. Myoung Sook, I ask her if she has any regrets. She sighs before replying: “If I could go back in time and change something I would like to be able to live my life with that person I met when I was 19, or at least say goodbye to him properly. I also wish I had been stronger and wiser in my past choices.”
After the various financial problems and the most modest turning point in recent years, it intrigues me to know what she thinks about money: “Money is something we all need, but it can destroy our lives. If you chase them too much, they become everything in your life, which becomes dry. Money can help us make our dreams come true, but we need to be wise in the way we make and manage them.”
“For me life is like a dewdrop in the morning, so bright! Life has ups and downs, suffering and happiness, hates and loves, youth and old age … there are so many things in a person’s life and many facets, like in a diamond.”
A very strong-spirited person, I am curious to know where she finds all these energies. “I am the first of 6 siblings, I always had to look after them when I was little, a great responsibility that made me strong. Furthermore, my children have always given me the strength to carry on.”
Ms. Myoung Sook recently sold her small restaurant, after about 5 years in business “My children are adults, I have finally recently divorced from my first husband, I am single, full of health and energy, I have no attachments, I am finally free now to do what I want. I had a difficult life previously, but today I am happy and I can dedicate myself to new projects.”
And now? “When I was little I had a neighbor in my hometown, with whom I always played, we were like best friends. We remained happy until about 6 years of age, then as we grew up we became shyer, I remember that even meeting his gaze was difficult, so we began to hang out less until the friendship broke down.
We both came to live here in Seoul, separately, each on their own path, sometimes we met for a few friends’ reunions, but nothing more…I didn’t feel close to him anymore as in the days when we played together, even when, about 12 years ago, he confessed to me that he had never forgotten me and that I was always in his heart. Sometimes he texted me on my cell phone, but I no longer cared much about him.
He was about to give up, but one day, last year, he heard that I had just got divorced, so he wanted to try to contact me once again. But again I wasn’t interested.
Around the same time my son who was living with me went to live alone, I began to feel lonely and I decided it was time to meet new people, but I felt that they weren’t too serious. I realized how important trust is in a relationship with another person and that friend, whom I had known since my childhood, was completely reliable.
Now we are seeing each other, everything is going naturally, we are getting to know each other better little by little. He takes great care of me, I know his family who appreciate me, we are thinking about some projects together. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll get married, but I don’t want to rush things.”
Ms. Myoung Sook concludes “We all have our talents, we must learn to share them with the others, to take care of them. I want to get to the last moment of my life and have no regrets.
And I hope everyone does the same, live without remorse, do what makes you feel happy and have a satisfying, existence without fear.
I hope you can all be happy.”
